


you're the one i was meant to find

by kiriya



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Alcohol, Canonical Character Death, Flirting, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Height Differences, Implied/Referenced Violence, Kissing, M/M, Resolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 22:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16458536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiriya/pseuds/kiriya
Summary: They kiss. Kiriya dies, comes back, and they kiss again.





	you're the one i was meant to find

It started as drinks, but Kiriya was lying to himself if he didn’t think — hope — it’d end in anything but taking Emu home with him.  
  
And Kiriya would be lying if he said he hadn’t been flirting with Emu since they first met: touching Emu when he could and giving him smiles that were all dazzle and charm. They were on the same side now, and Kiriya couldn’t help but extend the invitation for a drink, which Emu agreed to, with a smile that was sunshine. He’d been interested in Hojo Emu for a while, and wanted to get to know him more when they weren’t toeing the line with the Bugster virus ...  
  
Emu must be sweet on him too, because he was more than responsive to the flirting: giving him those dizzyingly bright smiles Kiriya loves so much, saying his name with a fondness that made his heart seize, and touching his arm in a way that made his skin there buzz.  
  
Emu accepted his invitation home, too, with a shy, knowing smile, relieving any conceptions Kiriya had of Emu’s innocence. It made Emu even sexier. Kiriya likes mystery, and there’s so much about Emu that intrigues him. Kiriya’s got it bad, and that’s that.  
  
Emu’s lips are soft, and he makes cute, desperate little noises against his mouth. He’s smoother than any top-shelf liquor, and tastes like all the pink cocktails he ordered, like alcohol and peaches. Kiriya can’t get enough of him.  
  
Emu’s back is against the door, with the entire line of Kiriya’s body pressed into his. Kiriya has raised his heels off the ground a bit, trying to match Emu’s height and get as much of him as possible. Kiriya usually wouldn’t do such a thing, too desperate, but it’s Emu. The man who smoothed out all his rough edges, wears bright colors and a brighter smile, and makes him grin unbidden in a way a crush only can.  
  
He’s been cold for a long time — since before Zero Day, since his heart had learned its lesson —  but Emu’s smile feels like fresh, warm sunshine on his face. The way his eyes sparkle when he looks at him makes him feel like a kid and again, and his faith makes him feel like he could be a better than he is.  
  
He’s been pulled into Emu’s gravity and can’t get out. At some point, lies started to come to him as easy as breathing. Then he met Emu, whose heart held a mirror to his and asked if this is really the person he wants to be.  
  
And Emu trusts him. It causes a stir in Kiriya’s chest that makes him want to be that person that Emu believes he is. He wants to help, protect him if he can, from all this.  
  
But everything he presented to Emu was calculated and dishonest. Emu started as a naive pretty boy he could work over with his charm, a means to his end, but now — Kiriya can’t fight his nature. He’s still keeping secrets.  
  
Visiting Kuroto’s dad, The Reprogramming, Hojo Emu is Patient Zero-  
  
Kiriya hasn’t him told him any of those things. The truth is a weapon, and everything can go to shit if not well-aimed ...  Still, he feels ingenuine. Selfish even, maybe, or like Emu really hasn’t changed him. Kiriya’s still scared; he can’t be the one to take his smile away.  
  
He can’t do this. Not now.  
  
Kiriya withdraws from the kiss. Emu is looking like him like holds the sun in his hands. His chest twists uncomfortably and his lips fall into a frown.  
  
Kiriya eases his grip in Emu’s hoodie, and straights out the creases he’s left, not meeting Emu’s eyes. He swallows something thick in his throat, and pats Emu’s chest.  
  
“You should go,” Kiriya says, more sincere than he’s ever allowed himself to be. “You’re drunk.”  
  
“Huh?” Emu replies, the hurt there makes his stomach squirm. “Kiriya, I’m fine.”  
  
“Well, I’m not,” Kiriya musters a smile, belying his words. He doesn’t want to make this any more painful than it has to be. “Some other time,” Kiriya says, and means it. “If you’re still up for this when we’re both sober.”  
  
“Alright,” Emu replies, deflated. It lacks sureness, so he knows it might be a lie. “Ok.”  
  
Kiriya opens up the door behind him and masks his emotions with an easy grin.  
  
“Night, Ace.”  
  
From the other side of the threshold, Emu looks at him, sad.  
  
“Goodnight, Kiriya.”  
  
Soon, Kiriya tells himself, he’ll come clean ... Tomorrow, he should get everyone together ...  
  
.  
  
Kiriya’s apartment is nicer than his, like Emu figured it would be. There’s never much space in Tokyo, but the ceiling is higher, the appliances are more current, and it has a good view of the city.  
  
He’d never really seen the place, drunk on fruity cocktails, but more so on the feeling of Kiriya’s lips on his. Weeks have passed since then, but here, in this place, with so much of him around, his lips tingle with a phantom ache in the shape of Kiriya’s mouth. He takes a deep breath, needing to collect himself from the realness of the memory, and shudders with the force of it.  
  
Emu runs his finger over the counter — smoother and shinier than the one in his apartment — where he left the crumpled past due and evicted notices that were on Kiriya’s door when he and Asuna got here. She’s already labelled a box dishware, but has gotten distracted with the bubble wrap, with a delight in her eyes that doesn’t belong to the no nonsense nurse. The sight creates an upward quirk to his lips, despite the heavy weight in his chest.  
  
Kujo-sensei has been stressed out, Hiiro told him when he came into work the day after Christmas. He’s filed for vacation, no doubt a result of the Director and Hiiro’s endless connections. How long how can they keep this stuff secret, anyway? He didn’t say when he’d be back.  
  
Emu tells the same lie to Nishi-san, when he asks, and Kiriya’s landlord when the first of the month comes and go. In a twisted way, Emu feels like he’s honoring his legacy well, being so deceitful.  
  
Not a day goes by where Emu doesn’t think about Kiriya, but how much time had he gotten to mourn, really? There was no body, no funeral. The only acknowledgement of his passing was the lies and clandestine meetings between the members of CR. Even Hiiro acted as if the whole thing hadn’t happened, not letting up up on him at work ... It’s almost as if Kiriya really did go on vacation ...  
  
Emu learns a lot, packing up the apartment. There are some things Kiriya must have left at work, like his laptop and the keys to his bike. He finds new things, too, a margarita mixer under the six in the kitchen, and in the living room, Jimmy Buffet CDs under the TV and uncashed poker chips between his couch cushions. They paint an intimate portrait of the man who kept himself the details of himself so well-hidden.  
  
Even when they were on the same side, Kiriya drove him crazy with that. Emu remembers scrambling for a good, last minute Christmas present, and Kiriya’s cryptic, flirty replies to his prodding text messages. It was hard enough, with the in between place things were. What did you get your crush-colleague? It didn’t matter really, Emu wasn’t able to give him what he chose, in the end....  
  
It feels so unfair. So unfair, that he’s learning so more about Kiriya in death than Kiriya ever cared to let him know in life.  
  
Emu finds a pair of leather fingerless gloves, and runs his thumb over the top of it. It’s familiar, from the one time they’d held hands: a part of the physical camaraderie they shared that made Emu feel warm and oddly safe.    
  
I’m leaving fate to you, Emu, Kiriya told him, fading out of existence, pushing his Gamer Driver into his arms.  
  
Asuna must have noticed the far away look in his eye, because she speaks up, “Are you okay, Emu?”  
  
He can’t help the hot tear that runs down that his cheek, and Asuna scatters around the counter to comfort him.  
  
.  
  
Kiriya liked being in the know. He liked being able to see the chess board and plot five moves ahead. When he died, he left Emu in his seat and now he’s back and the game’s not the one he left.  
  
Teaming up with Dan Masasume seemed as good a way as any to get reoriented. A look behind the scenes would put a few good cards in his hand …  
  
Still, he had his Ace. The stakes are high, higher than ever, with Taiga in critical condition and all the odds are stacked against them. All his tricks and charm have taken him as far as they can and it’s up to Emu now, like Kiriya always suspected it would be.  
  
It feels fitting, poetic almost, that Emu has all his stuff, packed into a cramped corner of his small apartment … Kiriya really did leave it all to him.  
  
Kiriya looks above the tops of his glasses, at the stacks of cardboard, and reads the labels on each side. Not all the handwriting is Emu’s, which Kiriya came to know well when he was investigating the other man.  
  
“It seemed ... cold ... to throw all it out,” Emu says from the kitchen, which isn’t far away, in the small studio apartment. “I hope you don’t mind that I looked...”  
  
That tracks with what he knows of Emu. He was a sentimental guy, and whether someone was his patient or not, he cherished life and all the personal details that flushed it out.  
  
Kiriya likes having the edge, being ahead of others, but there are so many gaps in his knowledge of in-between now and the time he died, and Emu has learned more about him than he ever intended on sharing. Now, with Emu, he feels vulnerable, at the disadvantage.  
  
“See anything you like?” Kiriya asks carefully.  
  
“I played some of your games,” Emu confesses. There’s a longing softness to his tone. Kiriya imagines Emu playing some of the strategy RPGs he owns and NPCs calling him ‘Kiriya.’  “I thought about you a lot, when you were gone... Your taste is kinda tacky though ...”  
  
Kiriya ignores the dig, but snorts at the delicate wording. Gone makes him sound like he was on vacation…  
  
He looks around. Emu’s place reflects him well, too.  
  
It’s younger, with unframed posters of familiar Genm Corp classics, various other video game memorabilia, old trophies, and unshelved medicinal textbooks, like they’ve been read recently or where never put away. It’s definitely a bachelor’s pad, suspended somewhere being a full-time student and a real adult.  
  
Kiriya can’t imagine Emu’s had the time to adjust and grow into the space, with the hell of an internship he’s had. As if having Hiiro as an attending wasn’t bad enough on its own... Most of Emu's furniture looks hand-me-down, except for the ceiling-high shelf that holds his consoles.  
  
Kiriya steps around one of the stacks. He touches the tops, lets his fingers brush the untaped, corrugated edges. The side says TV - Misc. The handwriting is wider and neater than Emu’s and there’s a heart above the i. The morbidness of that makes him laugh.  
  
“Sorry, your place is gonna have to stay tight a little longer. I don’t exactly have anywhere to put this stuff right now, unless I wanna move into the basement with God,” Emu gives him a scrutinizing look, though the name was clearly said in derision. Just the thought spending an extended time with Dan Kuroto makes him feel sour. It’d be a real fitting afterlife, if the universe wanted to punish him. “I told Nishi I was on a little bender...”  
  
“Sorry about that,” Emu apologizes sheepishly. “It’s was Hiiro’s idea…”  
  
“Did you mean what you said?” He asks, looking around, trying to sound idle while thinking about their fight at the beach. “Or was that just to appeal to my virtue?”  
  
He looks at Emu, waiting to assess his response. If felt Emu the same way as he did when Kiriya left...  
  
He watches his expression carefully. Kiriya thought Emu naive once. Though Emu is genuine and good natured, he’s as calculating as Kiriya, when he wants to be. No one gets to be a genius gamer without being clever. It’s why he trusted the fate of the world to him. Maybe his heart too, if Emu will have it.  
  
“Yes,” His words sound sure and there’s a happy upward quirk to his lips, though his gaze looks sad and faraway, “You trusted me, Kiriya-san. How could I not trust you?”  
  
Kiriya’s heart flutters and he smiles, all teeth. He takes off his glasses, so Emu can see his sincerity.  
  
“I thought you’d be more easy to fool,” Kiriya admits, walking away from the pile towards Emu. “I can’t believe you thought I had to be reprogrammed to betray you.”  
  
“The all black was really convincing...” His sly, teasing smile causes a commotion in his chest. After a beat, the corners of Emu lips tighten and he continues, “If not kinda over the top.”  
  
Kiriya snorts indignantly and flicks Emu’s chest. “Says the guy who screamed at me and punched me into the water.”  
  
Emu grins (which is just adorable) again, and an edge enters his voice, embarrassed but gleeful at the same time, “Sorry! I wanted to make it believable.”  
  
“You don’t gotta apologize, Ace,” Kiriya assures him. He tilts his chin up, so his face is closer to Emu’s. “I like that you’re so feisty.”  
  
Emu rolls his eyes and looks away, but his smile doesn’t change. “I saw you smiling. Kiriya-san … You really didn’t change, did you?”  
  
“Like you said, I’m over the top.”  
  
“I did say that, didn’t I?”  
  
“I know you wouldn’t have me any other way... Dan wanted me to wear a suit, for a while there…”  
  
“It wouldn’t matter what you wore,” Emu looks at him then, his eyes shining. “I believe in you, Kiriya-san.”  
  
God, if that doesn’t fuck him up.  
  
Kiriya knocks him on the shoulder. “We’re a little beyond formalities, aren’t we?”  
  
“You really hurt me there,” Emu deflects, thoughtfully touching a fading bruise. “I really thought I hurt you.”  
  
“You put up a good fight, though. Sorry for roughing you up,” Kiriya touches the side of Emu’s mouth with his thumb. “You looked cute with a little blood on your mouth though. All the water in your hair, right outta a catalog …“  
  
The color rises in Emu’s cheeks, “Kiriya-san…”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“You know, on the beach,” Emu begins, tentative. “I thought you were gonna kiss me...”  
  
Kiriya moves closer to him and mocks surprise. “Oh?”  
  
Kiriya moves his hand to the back of Emu’s neck. The position is familiar, he had Emu in this position once before, suspended between being allies and lovers, in the elevator up to his place the night before he died. He let Emu slip through his fingers once then, and he won’t again.  
  
“I was never outta of your heart, huh,” Kiriya mumbles, repeating what Emu had said to him before their fight on the beach. He moves his hand to cup the curve of Emu’s face, running his thumb over a cut on his cheek. He leans up on his toes, just a little... “I want you, Emu. If you’ll have me.”  
  
Emu looks at him with stars in his eyes, and holds Kiriya’s hand in his, right against his face. All the hestistance is gone, and there’s a small smile on his lips, just for him. In his moment, Hojo Emu feels like he’s made for him.  
  
“Of course, Kiriya.”  
  
“That’s more like it,” Kiriya mutters, as a low as whisper, watching Emu’s lips as he tilts his face up towards him.  
  
Kiriya’s eyes flutter shut as Emu leans down to kiss him, and their connecting feels like fate.   


End file.
